I couldn't get some things out of my head today and most of the time I am able to. These feelings tend to show themselves at times when I just am, not really thinking of things, just going with stuff and then I think about them and I get angry.
I think part of it is being alone most of the time; wake up to an empty apartment, go to my empty office, work around empty spaces, return to my empty apartment, lather, rinse, repeat. There have been a few times when the place wasn't that empty, not counting when the kids are here, but those times have been few and far between.
I guess I was thinking that with the new year *bam* things would change some and in some ways they are. League play starts tomorrow and though I am not good, a point I made quite clear, I am still on the team for now. I "joked" with the ex about how she was going to Vegas to get hitched, which I have a feeling will happen, found out that the price of heating gas is way more expensive than I remembered (rent or gas bill?).
Okay, so I missed a day. Nothing happened anyway. I did paper work and watched movies on IFC. Curled up in a blanket (gas bill), have a feeling i'm going to owe the irs, dreamed what it would be like winning a lottery and not even a big one, just a small one.
Argh.
lighter
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